Here i am awake again middle of the night invisible friends, a director  through a lens, watch the night go by foxes at the bins, single white male, walking round the bend. Alone with my thoughts, ideas trapped and caught, transfer them to paper, much safer than trying to remember, i cant recall what i did just this last September. Memory not what it used to be suppose the drugs are draining me, killing cells indiscriminately. Now where was i going with this, oh forgot, hit and miss, should have wrote a list.

Winter weather makes streets look better, white and still, can feel the chill, before you know here comes the snow, big fat flakes fill the space from sky to earth, insomniacs notice first. Grey dark edges softened white and all around is so so quiet. Cars are blanketed in cold white flakes, streets covered over as if newly made, kids cant wait to get out and play. I sit and watch the earth turn white, a pleasant change on this cold night. Sitting down smoking crack watching foxes trot past leaving tracks.

Times like this to me are bliss, happy to be living still, on my own  with the wintry chill. Think of all the pluses instead of all the losses, what a life i have kids are safe, super dad. Super glad happy inside, glad i’m here to experience the ride, of life itself, short on wealth, matters not what i have not got, more to the point what i have, a spirit free and glad. To be alive pushing fifty five, still cant sleep at night, still what a sight, snow falling thick night to daylight.

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