Been through depression, beat it, I am strength, went through it was ugly and dark. Abused early, still makes me teary, try not to go there, suppose that’s where the drugs find my heel. They don’t need much to begin to steal, your soul, your flesh, drugs are real. At first its like they take the hurt away, you think the world is great again. Believe me when I say the feeling good soon goes away, replaced by the day to day, new life you burdened on yourself. Heroin, first light, nothing works till you feel right, people and the world passing into history, close to me but not alert to understand, half asleep, happiness banned, happiness is a bag of gear, no heroin the biggest fear,, cos you do not want to go through this I swear. The fear of not being able to get a fix, floods your mind, plays tricks. Takes your strength, cos detox aint that bad, your mind though makes you sad, people go through worse every day its true, and if you are strong have help, you can get through. Instead don’t let it happen to you, in the first place. I am strong minded but I became influenced by the gear, from start to end took ten year. Ten years of waste, before I got on subutex, ten years what a mess. Even now, I am fighting to leave the subbys behind, the gear is constantly on my mind. Crying gently on my own, cant sleep so tired, limbs kick out and feel on fire, I cant settle, God loves a trier. Jaw aches from the stretch of yawning another part of withdrawing, eyes stream with water, feel so weak, toss and turn, I am a fucking freak.


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