Never Going Backwards

Got in thru window at front, fell head first onto floor. He was upstairs, looked grey, couldn’t touch him, screaming, kicking the bed. Ran a cold bath and tried to shift him, he was deadweight heavy, managed to get him to the top of the stairs but the bathroom door was shut so when I reached with one hand, he dropped down the stairs. I was laughing hysterically, it woke him a little and I eventually put him in the bath. Some people came in the house so I left. Did he come round another time to thank you? Did he fuck. You just saved his life and he never thanked you? So he chopped you up, raped you, threatened you, and basically terrorised you throughout the relationship, you and him eventually split cos he leaves you for a fifteen year old, and you think he is about to do some thing stupid. So you break in to his house, find him dying, and save his life. That’s some crazy shit, where is he now?  Clayton, he is married now. He never thanked you at any time since? NO. Wow. I’m stupid I know, but I couldn’t leave him to die, its not in me. I get you, really, but you should have left him dying. We laughed loudly together. Gis a few of them Jaffa cakes to have with my brew. Top one, I put the kettle on. Do you have to go now? do you have to get a beer cos just come back innit. I don’t need a beer I just have to sort this fire out. Actually I don’t have to have a beer like that. Wait a minute, did you say you don’t need a beer, since when do you not need a beer.

I know, do you know what?  I wait till six pm now before I get one even if I am awake. Mildly shocked I asked how long it had been not getting beer till evening. Since me and him split up really, she said. “Yo, that’s big, ya know, so about six months then? I couldn’t hide my surprise. “There were many mornings I clocked you having it through the park, I am buzzing for you Kathleen, that’s good man.

“It must be having less stress to handle every day makes you don’t need it as much innit?” Me surmising. “It must be, yeah” she looked thoughtful. “Make sure you don’t never go back, you, I mean it, look at you now, you’re better off on your own, no fucked up drama every two minutes. I am glad to be on my own, specially when I hear people moaning bout this and that or cheating on their girl, what’s the point though, I live my days drama free and am happy, trust.”

“Believe me Kes I am never going backwards after this, never” the point was made forcefully and I believe her. “Good”


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