Wild, unforgiving, twisted reasoning, made victim, evil seasoning, not spared. Self the only thing left to cling onto, hate emanating for those that created you, now that hate gets you through, day after month after year. Inwardly everything is unclear, outwardly pose allow all who approach to feel fear. Roar after roar attempt to trick all, inside you cry and spiral and fall, onto your knees, terrified and small, how to navigate these four walls.
Do you ever act one way and later realise you were way wrong? I do. The realisation came today, I only saw clearly today, it is never too late, some say, but a lot of damage can occur along the way. Sorry is all well and good, but hey! Better, need to be better, one day it will be too late. I know but when I am around people the same reality that is me, actually, comes into play, proud, arrogant, right, stubborn, self righteous, prick. Simply put cant help it, glitch in the matrix, nothing that can be fixed, characterization flaw, nothing specific, like lock-jaw. Head sore, thinking has left the brain raw, to the touch, yet wait. Can I be great? Is there some way to bury the hate, move on with life, fill in the space. In fifty odd years there is no rosetta stone to unlock the portal, a maze that when conquered would leave you normal. So never give in trying to find the jewel, many paths will try and confuse, but only you have the will to lose, use it wisely, and resist trying to prove. Worth to another, you only do you, keep faith tied up tightly, desire not lightly, too much to lose to give in quietly. Fierce yet calm, weather the storm, roll with the punches, push out those extra ten crunches, push on push on, get gifts in bunches. Each day is unique, each hour each week, so keep on forging that new tomorrow, and take each moment as a reason to grow.