FEAR OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK

The reason the world works? I used to sell drugs. I was a good drug dealer. The person I am now is functioning, not despite but because of my job as a dealer. We all function today due to the stuff we have been through in our lives. Where I was born and how I was raised made the man. I was able to decide that I would sell drugs even though I could see the damage drugs were doing to the community I was a part of because of how I was “programmed” The box in the corner also influenced my ability to decide. Some people would not sell drugs. The reasons people would and would not are too many to mention, labels are everywhere and we are taught to react to labels in a very subtle way. I think a lot of people act in a way that satisfies the feelings of others. My decision came down to my character, I was lazy and avaricious, so although my initial reaction was to spout some self righteous bull a week later I was on the phone asking how much we can make. My disgust at the powers and dismay at seeing how well their plan was working soon faded into a memory.

A lot of people could not do what I did, some would not want to do what I did. The difference is the way we all think and feel. Was I wrong to sell? Who says I was wrong? Why is it wrong? Who decides? Do we take our cue from the people that run our country? Or do we go by right and wrong? Who decided what was wrong and what is right? Who do we believe to be telling the truth? Our government wont lie to us will they? The people that decided it would be a good idea to introduce drugs into inner city communities are probably the same ones that decide what we should do and what we should think. So some people play by one set of rules while expecting everyone else to play by rules that they make up. Should I know the difference between what is wrong and what is right and let that be my conscience? I know the difference and decided to do what people call wrong.

Television played a role in my way of thinking by then and still now. My dad never watched television growing up. His beliefs came direct from his peers and parents in Jamaica. If a person has beliefs of any kind my belief is that I should respect that belief. I do not have to agree and I should say so because I can, but I can respect. I knew my dad well. After my mum left the family home when I was three my dad became the most important person in my life till the day he passed. I get his beliefs totally and understand where they were conceived. The box in the corner let me know that people in my world were living in a way I could only imagine and that was not the only thing I must have picked up. It can subtly send messages to us that can even influence our way of thinking about certain subjects. Like drugs for example. Manipulation of the  mind is a speciality for the box and even easy. We sit and soak information into our brains every day. My dad would not have sold drugs. Get a job buy a home get  married have kids pass it on. Ask no questions tell no lies.

Those days have long gone. Thousands of children disappear every year especially in the USA. People are waging war on each other and thousands are dying because of it every year. People are suffering daily while being refused help that is available. Then there is the other side where thousands are creating for themselves a life of comfort and joy by cheating stealing, oppressing and murdering. They are the people that are telling the rest of the world what to do and how to act and what is right and what is wrong. Most of us accept that and try and create a peaceful little life for ourselves and those we love while closing our eyes to the reality of life itself. Only the fact that we are so able to empathize with each other keeps the world from utter chaos. This is what the others thrive on, the thieves and murderers inside our world. I was not going to be a slave. I know so much while knowing nothing. I perceive anything is possible. I was glad to live as an outlaw. I was proud of the fact that I was  making a living while not giving my money towards the Queen’s      next suit or the governments next batch of arms that are heading toward another African country to be used to murder thousands and maybe millions. I mentioned something I had heard recently to another person and the response opened my eyes to how much people can get away with nowadays. It is not  new. Questions are the new enemy. Laughter is the reaction to thought. Normal is upside down and we have not noticed the change going on around us. All we want is a peaceful life, our perception has changed, it is what it is, has become the phrase of the day and where has that come from and spread? The box. No emotion. Programmes and apps are changing our perception. Original thought and natural emotion are distant memories. Think about it, i’m out

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