Chemist Trying It On

So today I spilt hot coffee on me, earlier on today, around six am, yeah. Woke up and made a coffee, back to the settee, fell asleep. Woke up fast. Too late soaking wet hot but quickly turning cold. Horrible and the coffee had a smell like wee, I wiped up the spilt coffee with the blanket, because the couch is leather not too much damage. I tried to find a dry piece of blanket and covered the best of me, but too many draughts. I had to get up, throw the blanket in the machine go upstairs wash myself. Change clothes come down and I am up. Wide awake I stayed up. Not long before the first visitor arrives say 9.15am, the kids mother. Phoned a dealer to pay him £15, she mentioned the other day that she wanted help to not score so I was on it already. Psychological warfare played with the dealer. Work him while planting seeds in his head for next time, its a game and you better know how to play it or you get left behind. All good strolled early to the chemist, planning to go in the store on the way home. Hey, now check what happened when I went to the chemist, yesterday first even though it may have nothing to do with todays events. I am in there talking to T, the lady behind the counter, lives on my road, got 2 little dogs. I have to pick up every weekday so I am familiar with everyone on staff, I am mostly cheerful and talk to every body the same. I was chatting away when P walks in and I have not seen him for roughly a year, I say hello ask how its going then realise how it is going when I get a strong whiff of B.O.  Bam right at me and then I see that he is back on the heroin and actually asking for clean needles, he did not look good and the only difference between him and me is that I am still recovering. Damn it never is good when you see a colleague in the grip. Accepting it as well, hard after that, I said bye and kept it rolling. Today I go in and am watching T work I comment that she is being kept busy. G the chemist, young blonde new mother working around a new born, three days at the moment, I am there every day. I mix with every one but I don’t share morals. My morals are mine so when I walk out the shop to find one tablet the wrong size I I actually feel guilty I know not why, I was taken by surprise. Turning around I went back in and told G it was wrong, she reacted immediately, no questions like “are you sure?” or “i could have sworn I did that right”  Only three minutes ago. She went to the back of the shop calling two girls over, I saw the girls but her face was hidden behind the corner. My behaviour in the chemist is impeccable if I say so myself. I am friendly without being too friendly, polite without being creepy, well mannered without selling myself, I am on my ps and qs for sure. G came around the corner looked at a few things then came and replaced my 0.4mg for a 8m. I walked out and thought that the whole situation went down the wrong way. I was feeling wrong, so I turned and went back in a third time. G saw me and said is it wrong again? I ignored the obvious reference to the incident asking for a word. Even as I was waiting I was a model of cool. Then we went into a small room. I feel as if I am in the wrong in front of the girls, is what I said, my conscience is clear and your face looked as if you thought I was conning you and that is not me” I babbled trying to get my words out cleverly and failing. She said I was wrong to think that, she is training a new girl who must have messed up, say no more. I pictured the young black girl training and said to her, “but G it goes past you last just before you passed it me and this has happened once before and it was also with you, I want the girls to know I am not a cheat” I was on a roll. She apologised wishing it had not happened I said me too. I felt better when I left the third time. Somehow justified. Crazy right I know but I was chilled as soon as I left there, still am. At home I grab a tenner go see a new kid on the block. Should be giving him twenty today but he is getting a ten. Sounds cold but he joined the game as a grown man and everything he learns from my interactions is a taste of how real this shit will get. To me he pays cheap for the knowledge taught with an instant apology afterward, the others wont say sorry if they admit anything at all. Plus I drop him pearls of wisdom that are priceless. I put my flat cap on and clean fresh clothes because I am showing him a different image today. He has seen me in smoking mode he is yet to see me at work. Getting the stones is play work is getting more while explaining that you don’t have twenty u promised. Anyway I walked out with a twenty nd a ten of weed for nothing, came home wrote this post and now I am going in the sunny garden with a choice of smoke hustled like the player I can be, I can deal with chemists junkies dealers wannabes all on the same day easily. OUT Enjoy life control your thoughts and drop the dumb shit, PEACE

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