Counting Is A Pain

The numbers seem to be correct, I decide, happily. Can I relax now?  Sometimes it feels as if I am losing sanity, numbers for eternity.         Aware I need to take action, head full of whole numbers and fractions. Yawning first thing in the morning, it begins without any warning. Last thing at night need to know I counted everything right. I feel as if I am in the Matrix, Neo at your service. Numbers fall down constantly, don’t talk to me as I am not here.       I am inside my head trying hard to organise these digits, lets be clear.  Like ocd I have to work it all out at least ten times to be sure.    Even then I am still unsure, so what do I do it for. Counting money weighing product wrapping and bagging parcels to be counted again, cant leave it to a friend, I trust nobody. My responsibility, I take it too seriously, I cant slow down. It hurts to be a clever, fella. My brain cant relax for a moment, it just isn’t fair. Oh I suppose I will learn to live with this disposition. It is not that bad, my decision. After six productive years business came to an end with a crash, just like that. After the night when I was kidnapped and left in a state, my mind was made up, I am gone from the game. I left my city in the middle of the night  hit the motorway driving out of sight. Ended up in Yorkshire in a city named Leeds. Room at the top in a shared house, on my own, wind blew strong made the floorboards groan. First night of sleep interrupted by a nightmare, brought on by fear, I fear.          In the morning when I woke my head was clear, free from the numbers after many a year. It felt strange in a good way to be free of the numbers, my shoulders felt as if a weight had been removed, I actually felt moved.

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