Year Of Hurt

Replace the love u never had cos u wanna feel good, no logic to reason why, u aint meant to cry u all cried out. So u hit the crack and try to figure out, why your life went that way to your dying day you cant work it out. You look for answers in that crystal white cocaine and every time is just the same, no blame just pain again and again. You cant love yourself you never learned how. Release the hurt in a burst of smoke and laugh at your life a constant joke. Make it worse you know why you hit it, still dont matter cos you cant quit it, laugh. When you wanted hugging you hugged yourself when you asked for love you got told you were no good. It stuck to this day and even though you understand you cant get away, from the pain of your loneliness, insides a mess and a mass of contrasts. Take a couple blasts. Insecurity got you hiding from humanity. All alone you could not believe anybody loved you so you put them through tests nobody would pass, then justified by saying you knew they wouldnt last. You are accustomed to the feeling of being alone so you turn to the stone, to help you feel good for a minute then you right back in it. Hide inner despair on a daily basis sometime free when you receive a kiss from an innocent. Justify your hurt saying it was meant for some unknown reason, we all carry a cross we all learn loss as a part of life. Look up at the moon and stars in wondrous amazement turn your hurt around like the earth keeps turning. At a loss to put it in its place but you know it fits somewhere, at a loss to see past your own thoughts. Somebody had worse is all i have to use so even tho my insides continually bruised and i continually use i look toward another day.

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