The past week has been so intense. I physically felt sick, my stomach hurting constantly. It lasted for days, earlier on the same. I found myself super down at one point and had a bad feeling all over me. I would question myself but become confused. I was scared of the future. Literally scared, i have felt that something is going to happen to me for a while. I have said it before that something bad is going to happen to me. Although i think i have paid my debts i am not sure, never sure. I lost sight of a few things so found it difficult to maintain perspective for a while. That is life i think, endless ways to create situations galore. Throughout parenthood i have always tried to keep a little bit of me, me. I am a parent and treat my station with the care and respect the position deserves. Still though, i have to keep a bit of me alive, never too risky i dont think but that is the selfish part of me. Some would say as long as the kids are in no danger and i would agree wholeheartedly. My definition is realistic to where i live. Not one particular thing but how the day has woven has helped me fill in the missing parts of my puzzle. I can see clearly now.