A miracle occurred in Openshaw on Saturday night. At the time i was talking to God my hands were clasped to my bible and i dont have much feeling in my hands but if i tell you my fingers were being clasped by another hand and there was a light and a warm electric feeling going on. I asked every doubters question as you can imagine but there was no doubt. I was made to look at a younger version of me, in church i remember it well, and from there to who i am now. I knew  immediately that crack smoking was so so wrong and i knew. Then i collapsed when i realised what i had done by falling. I could hardly breathe when it started to sink in, my daughter the way i pushed her away and pretended not to care. Everything, oh the excuses i was nearly sick, how could i have let crack take me so far from who i really am. I have not committed any illegal acts to purchase crack, ever, that is just not me, so when it went i would just sit on a downer till it wore off. Now i know why the kids spend so much time upstairs, my moods. Plus i looked around and said to myself, “i need to decorate in this room its a mess”

Then remembered the one real argument i have had with my son happened last October and it got worse when he said the room is horrible and i called him ungrateful. Now i see what he means. Painted magnolia is what is up , no wallpaper through me saying its ok. I probably spent the money i would have decorated with on crack, no doubt.

My eyes were truly opened and it was an amazing experience that lasted around half an hour. I asked my older daughter for forgiveness today and am so glad she forgave me. I need her in our lives, she is the one that keeps our family together with arranging birthdays for my grandchildren, and inviting us all so we meet often. i let crack take over me. I knew from the day i first saw it that it is evil. I saw it as a means of enslaving a generation of people and thought it was a weapon aimed with the intent of wiping us out. Now i know it is not just black people but it is evil. I am so happy i realise what happened. As Juan pointed out, annoyingly at the time, glad now tho, crack will not just go away and he hopes i forever praise God for the light, i know.

i am in recovery  anyway, recently had first appt. so i will have support plus i asked a member of local church to visit. I do want to find a good church to attend on Sundays. I grew up going church every Sunday even when i did not want to, i was still going at 15. Strict catholic stepmother who kicked us out of bed on a Sunday morning to get ready for church. Had to dress up and we would get some money for the plate that gets passed around. I cant remember the name it had, but we would try and keep a bit of change back for sweets on the way home. The stepmother never went church but our neighbor always went so if we tried to sneak off we took a gamble cos they used to talk often. Church was good tho. She defo did me a a massive favor unintentionally. I also went bible class on a Thursdays. I have never taken my kids to church, can you believe that? I told my daughter here that i am looking for a church she straight away said she would be coming. The future has so many possibilities.


5 thoughts on “GOD IS GREAT

  1. I’m so happy you’ve found your faith and yourself again, and are connecting with like-minded folks.

    It’s hard to stop doing something without having something else to take its place, and now you’ve found it! Plus you’ll get the support you need to climb out of the rut you’d fallen into.

    This is great news!

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