I remember when my little girl was very young and i had to tell her what her body parts were called, i used the word vagina and her mum was cool with that, but another girl said i should not have said that. She reckoned i should have called it a flower as that is what she told her kid. I thought she was pathetic, i mean why ? She made out i was a dodgy parent and i was really annoyed. Inside i did wonder if she was right but my instinct told me that i did right.
Over the years i ended up raising my kids alone and in the earlier years i used to have a drug habit so they saw things they maybe shouldnt have. I always made sure to make them aware of what drugs do to people by using some of my customers as examples. I have never had a problem talking about any subject with my children. Last night my son was asking me some questions about sex when he stopped midsentence. “Its not appropiate” he said. I told him that i am the best person to ask and nothing is off limits. We carried on tallking various sex acts and i assured him that everybody is different in what it takes to arouse them fully and that if two people are comfortable with a situation regardless of what itis then you dont judge them and dont regret not trying everything that makes you feel good. He left seeming satisfied.
It did not feel strange to me to be talking sex with my son actually it felt like part of being a father by giving your children as much information as possible whatever the subject. When i was growing up i never had a mother to turn to and my dad never talked about sex. Sometimes we would be watching half naked women prancing about on a tv show, Benny Hill and you could sense he was uncomfortable. As a Jamaican he was very conservative really and rarely talked about anything meaningful. I am the total opposite and dont have a problem talking with my children, i generally tell them anything they want or need to know. I dont understand how parents find it hard to talk to kids on some subjects. It is important that they get as much information as you can give them because who else will tell them? I remember being shy as a teen and often i couldnt perform when with a girl and i couldnt tell anybody so for a long time i suffered and each time it would be worse because i worried that it would happen again. I told my son about it last night and explained that i finally met a girl who reassured me that we had time and it didnt matter so eventually i was able to relax. He could have the same problem but at least he knows that it is a normal situation and he can talk to me about it.
I think it is a parents responsibility to arm your children with as much info as they want or need. My children ask me all kinds of stuff. My daughter has recently started menstruating and she had been waiting a while as she has cousins younger than her that had already began. When she started for a few weeks it was all she wanted to talk about and i found myself explaining why blood would be darker or lighter and what to do in case of leakage etc. For some reason i did not find it awkward i just used common sense to answer her questions and never made her feel like she couldnt ask anything. One day she wanted to show me her underwear to explain the colour of blood she was talking about but i had to assure her i did not need to see i could imagine what she was talking about, i was surprised though that she didnt seem to mind.
My children have been an education to me as the years have gone by and i look at them now as teenagers and feel proud ffor how they both are. I know there are situations still to come, you never stop being a parent but i truly enjoy every experience they bring and feel blessed to have them.